(no subject)

today = multiple nervous breakdowns.


just... really really fucking stressed out about the whole college thing. getting bitched at by parents/counselors/teachers/etc about how I need to know what colleges I want to go to and what my major is and get a scholarship and take really hard classes next year and GAH.


I don't know. I don't know what I want to do with my life. idon'tknowidon'tknowidon'tknow. All I know is that all I want is to get the hell out of this stupid goddamn town and away from these stupid goddamn people and DO something with my life, but I don't know what and I'm scared to death that I'm going to make a mistake and fuck everything up for myself. and I know I sound like a fool right now and I hate myself for that, too.


everyone seems to expect so much of me and I feel like all I can do from here is let them down because I will NEVER be able to live up to any of it.


I just don't know anymore.