(no subject)

cleaned my mother's car today -- not the outside, just the inside. took fooorreeevverrr, and I was thinking about doing mine too, but I want to do a FULL wash on my car and I'm sick of cleaning... and as for the inside, my windows fog up like crazy no matter what the season, so I buy this anti-fog stuff to put on them that works really well, only I'm out of it. so car-cleaning will wait until that is purchased, I guess.


bleh. a few minutes ago I got sent to the laundromat to pick up my father's dress pants that he needed for the visitation tonight, only I got in the car and realized my mother hadn't given me the check, so I went back in the house... and my father was screaming at her, it didn't even sound like him for a moment, and I didn't catch much but what I did hear was "--JUST LIKE FOR THE LAST 17 FUCKING YEARS!!" so apparently it was something about how much I fucked up his life, seeing as there's not much else that's been relevant to my family for precisely 17 years. blar. I walked out the door at that point, I didn't feel right listening even if it was about me, and went and sat in the bushes until my mother came out, and she didn't say anything either, I guess she didn't know I was there either... meh. whatever. it just kind of bothers me to actually HEAR how much hatred he has for me instead of just kind of perceiving it. if you can't tell I don't get along with my father so well....


yeah. I don't know. they're gone now, otherwise I wouldn't be here. and I have to stay home for a while, I have to bake something for stupid fucking family reunion tomorrow and I can't in the morning because even though I didn't really know her it doesn't feel right to skip out on Tracey's funeral when it's something that means so much to my mother. so tomorrow is busy with things I really will not enjoy. oh well.


and tonight, I just want to bake my fucking cheesecake and get the hell out of here...

(no subject)

I finished making the cheesecake. My mother is drunk. Ali's coming over in a few minutes and then I will be gone.


( hooray for cheesecake. )