(no subject)

I shouldn't re-read old entries. God, this thing is a seething pit of pathetic and emo. Wow.

But I can see the trajectory now. How much happier I was when I was living abroad, when I was travelling, and this slow decline from Feb - Sept 2008, and this horrible pitch downward when my mother died.

My computer was off being repaired the other night and everyone was busy and I was home with nothing to do with myself, and made the mistake of going through my desk drawers, which contain all this shit from, oh, middle school and on. And it was this big punch in the face of how much potential I had, how much everyone expected of me, how far from that I am now.

I still feel like I am probably headed for rock-bottom. meh.