"put me somewhere I don't want to be/never want to see that place again..."

[numberoneblind]

...today is a thinking day, and I'm starting to wish it weren't.

walking around taking pictures I felt balanced for the first time in a while. centered. just... walking along, and not even noticing the rain except when it got on my lens, and listening to music, and just feeling... right. and then some dumb insignificant thing happens and suddenly it's raining and the lyrics are like little knives and I don't know. it bothers me most because I felt so unstoppable and then... yeah. ugh, sorry. good at thinking, not so good at talking. so I won't try. you're not missing much, heh.

I want things to even out. I want to not just FEEL centered but be it too, seeing as obviously that feeling was mistaken today. so fucking much has changed lately and yet so much HASN'T, and I feel like some of the things that haven't changed are things that should've, and some of the things that have are things that shouldn't have.

I wish I could've at least gotten a really good picture today. one of the ones where you take it and you're just like... YES. none of those. just some decent ones. I haven't gotten one of those in a while, actually, and it kind of bothers me.






(hello, raindrops. grrrr.)


(this one's actually a few days old.)


I basically have nothing to do tonight. I should find something, or I will go insaaaaane.


but i'd trade it all
for just a little
peace of mind...