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Dec. 22nd, 2004 03:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
numberoneblindso bored. SO. bored. I went to see "Series of Unfortunate Events" with Tim, and we wanted to hang out afterwards, but there's nowhere to go... so instead we stood in the lobby of Celebration Cinema talking for like an hour. And now I'm home.
I guess I'll do that 100 things meme.
1. I never post my full name online. At least not on things that Google could find.
2. But my first name is Kelsey, which you probably know.
3. My middle name is Elizabeth. So generic.
4. And my last name means "cock" in German.
5. I'm 17.
6. Despite that, I don't have my unrestricted-hours driver's license.
7. This is because the state of Michigan thinks I'm mentally ill.
8. I had to go through psychological analysis and a special driver's evaluation thing to get my license in the first place.
9. I then got my license, but apparently it didn't stay in their computers that I passed all this crap...
10. ...because the 17-year one never showed up, and when I called the top-level office they said it was because it said on their computers that I was mentally ill and couldn't drive.
11. Which is funny, seeing as I already HAVE a license.
12. And all the other departments I got transferred to in the 4 hours I spent on the phone said that their computers said I was supposed to have it.
13. And then I got an at-fault ticket, so now they have an -excuse- for not giving me it.
14. Therefore, I think that the Secretary of State's office is a motherfucker.
15. That was really boring, but yeah, I'm just not very interesting.
16. Let's see here. Um. Okay, I hate how I look.
17. I'm fine with my face, just not my body.
18. My metabolism is shit so losing weight is just a pain.
19. I'm 5'5".
20. I was 5'5" in sixth grade -- I haven't grown since, obviously.
21. Which sucks, because I was always really tall as a kid and all I ever heard was my parents preparing me to be really tall, since basically our whole family is, too.
22. Instead, I'm the second-shortest person in my family.
23. My hair is naturally dirty blonde.
24. People are always very much surprised by this, although not as much as last year, since my hair was REALLY dark then.
25. I haven't seen my natural hair color (except in roots) since halfway through my sophomore year.
26. I can't dye it odd colors anymore because they never go away and then I get roots and they look bad.
27. This makes me extremely unhappy. I feel way too normal with my current haircolor.
28. I drive a 1993 Toyota Corolla wagon.
29. I bought it in August 2003 for $900.
30. It turned 193,000 miles the day I bought it.
31. It turned 204,000 miles today.
32. I wrecked it the first weekend school was out this summer.
33. The accident was my fault.
34. I wasn't paying attention and turned into another car when I was coming home from a graduation party.
35. The reason I wasn't paying attention was because I was looking in the rearview mirror at the Glenlord/Red Arrow stoplight, waiting for it to turn flashing red because it was midnight.
36. I'm easily distracted like that.
37. I had to replace the front bumper, hood, radiator, and A/C compressor.
38. I did most of the labor myself.
39. For some reasons I keep going off on tangents in this thing.
40. I got involved in theater my sophomore year.
41. I've also been pretty much ridiculously depressed since sophomore year, too.
42. These two facts are unrelated, though.
43. I started off running props.
44. Stage crew looked more interesting so I joined that my junior year.
45. Now as a senior I'm pretty much top of the food chain despite joining so late.
46. I'm paid for it now.
47. But all I ever do is run lights.
48. Aside from one sound show, I haven't done anything but lights since a Sawyer Dance Academy show last year.
49. The problem with this is that I don't really fit in with the rest of the crew, because I'm up in the booth by myself all the time.
50. So even my main extracurricular makes me lonely.
51. Woo. I'm over halfway done.
52. Up until this year I was never so lonely that I needed to be around other people.
53. I could just make myself feel better by going for a drive.
54. But I was uber-social this summer and now I'm all... not-so-independant.
55. This makes me feel pretty damn weak.
56. ...and hate myself even more.
57. I don't like acknowledging any good traits I may have.
58. It makes me feel ridiculously arrogant.
59. ...and makes me hate myself MORE.
60. Basically, I completely hate myself no matter what.
61. I feel like I'm basically incapable of functioning properly, emotionally speaking.
62. But I hate myself too much to kill myself.
63. That is, killing myself would END my suffering.
64. Which I don't deserve.
65. I deserve to KEEP suffering.
66. I'm sounding too fucking emo here, so I'm going to shut up about this now.
67. I've never dated.
68. Never even been kissed.
69. And I'm ridiculously unattractive so I doubt that will be changing.
70. Before I had a livejournal, I had, from oldest to newest, a thing at diaryland, a deadjournal, and a xanga.
71. I didn't know anyone on any of those sites, so it sucked.
72. I knew two people on LJ, so I finally got one of these instead.
73. Apparently, I'm really loud.
74. I don't mean to be and I find that incredibly embarassing.
75. But when I'm not loud, no one notices me. At all.
76. Even when I'm around big groups of people I feel completely alone.
77. So being loud is what I do to feel vaguely connected, I guess.
78. I was on allergy medicine from age 4 - 10 that made me a complete basketcase.
79. I only had one friend prior to 5th grade, and she was even more psychotic than me.
80. People still make fun of me for shit I did in elementary school.
81. I hate that I'm still around those people.
82. Even though I finally have friends, I still want nothing more than to get the hell out of this town and away from the stupid asshats who still think I'm the same person I was when I was 9 and overmedicated.
83. Apparently I'm a good writer. I don't really think so, but my English teachers seem to.
84. I'm a good student but I don't get along with most of the other "smart kids" at my school.
85. I'm a perfectionist. Not with other people, just with myself.
86. I like to be in control of things that I'm planning.
87. Not knowing what's going on, plans-wise, makes me have panic attacks.
88. Holiday shopping crowds also make me have panic attacks.
89. People seem to misinterpret my moods a lot.
90. Which is odd, because I'm not exactly subtle about them.
91. But when I'm depressed and want to be left alone everyone's all like "HUUUUUUG!" and when I'm depressed and want attention people avoid me like the plague.
92. When I get really freaked out, I go for a drive to clear my head.
93. I'm really interested in politics by virtue of being a union leader's daughter.
94. I liked snow a lot more when I was a little kid and didn't have to drive in it.
95. I'm almost always cold.
96. I'll go out of my way to help people I care about, and I don't make a big deal about them "repaying" me or whatever.
97. Despite this, I still think I'm a horrible person.
98. I play guitar, but I like bass better. Unfortunately I can't accompany myself with a bass.
99. Singing is the only thing I'll admit to being okay at.
100. I'm the most uncreative artist you'll ever meet.
Hmh. I guess I wasted too much space at the beginning, because I kind of ran out at the end, I could've said more. Oh well.
I guess I'll do that 100 things meme.
1. I never post my full name online. At least not on things that Google could find.
2. But my first name is Kelsey, which you probably know.
3. My middle name is Elizabeth. So generic.
4. And my last name means "cock" in German.
5. I'm 17.
6. Despite that, I don't have my unrestricted-hours driver's license.
7. This is because the state of Michigan thinks I'm mentally ill.
8. I had to go through psychological analysis and a special driver's evaluation thing to get my license in the first place.
9. I then got my license, but apparently it didn't stay in their computers that I passed all this crap...
10. ...because the 17-year one never showed up, and when I called the top-level office they said it was because it said on their computers that I was mentally ill and couldn't drive.
11. Which is funny, seeing as I already HAVE a license.
12. And all the other departments I got transferred to in the 4 hours I spent on the phone said that their computers said I was supposed to have it.
13. And then I got an at-fault ticket, so now they have an -excuse- for not giving me it.
14. Therefore, I think that the Secretary of State's office is a motherfucker.
15. That was really boring, but yeah, I'm just not very interesting.
16. Let's see here. Um. Okay, I hate how I look.
17. I'm fine with my face, just not my body.
18. My metabolism is shit so losing weight is just a pain.
19. I'm 5'5".
20. I was 5'5" in sixth grade -- I haven't grown since, obviously.
21. Which sucks, because I was always really tall as a kid and all I ever heard was my parents preparing me to be really tall, since basically our whole family is, too.
22. Instead, I'm the second-shortest person in my family.
23. My hair is naturally dirty blonde.
24. People are always very much surprised by this, although not as much as last year, since my hair was REALLY dark then.
25. I haven't seen my natural hair color (except in roots) since halfway through my sophomore year.
26. I can't dye it odd colors anymore because they never go away and then I get roots and they look bad.
27. This makes me extremely unhappy. I feel way too normal with my current haircolor.
28. I drive a 1993 Toyota Corolla wagon.
29. I bought it in August 2003 for $900.
30. It turned 193,000 miles the day I bought it.
31. It turned 204,000 miles today.
32. I wrecked it the first weekend school was out this summer.
33. The accident was my fault.
34. I wasn't paying attention and turned into another car when I was coming home from a graduation party.
35. The reason I wasn't paying attention was because I was looking in the rearview mirror at the Glenlord/Red Arrow stoplight, waiting for it to turn flashing red because it was midnight.
36. I'm easily distracted like that.
37. I had to replace the front bumper, hood, radiator, and A/C compressor.
38. I did most of the labor myself.
39. For some reasons I keep going off on tangents in this thing.
40. I got involved in theater my sophomore year.
41. I've also been pretty much ridiculously depressed since sophomore year, too.
42. These two facts are unrelated, though.
43. I started off running props.
44. Stage crew looked more interesting so I joined that my junior year.
45. Now as a senior I'm pretty much top of the food chain despite joining so late.
46. I'm paid for it now.
47. But all I ever do is run lights.
48. Aside from one sound show, I haven't done anything but lights since a Sawyer Dance Academy show last year.
49. The problem with this is that I don't really fit in with the rest of the crew, because I'm up in the booth by myself all the time.
50. So even my main extracurricular makes me lonely.
51. Woo. I'm over halfway done.
52. Up until this year I was never so lonely that I needed to be around other people.
53. I could just make myself feel better by going for a drive.
54. But I was uber-social this summer and now I'm all... not-so-independant.
55. This makes me feel pretty damn weak.
56. ...and hate myself even more.
57. I don't like acknowledging any good traits I may have.
58. It makes me feel ridiculously arrogant.
59. ...and makes me hate myself MORE.
60. Basically, I completely hate myself no matter what.
61. I feel like I'm basically incapable of functioning properly, emotionally speaking.
62. But I hate myself too much to kill myself.
63. That is, killing myself would END my suffering.
64. Which I don't deserve.
65. I deserve to KEEP suffering.
66. I'm sounding too fucking emo here, so I'm going to shut up about this now.
67. I've never dated.
68. Never even been kissed.
69. And I'm ridiculously unattractive so I doubt that will be changing.
70. Before I had a livejournal, I had, from oldest to newest, a thing at diaryland, a deadjournal, and a xanga.
71. I didn't know anyone on any of those sites, so it sucked.
72. I knew two people on LJ, so I finally got one of these instead.
73. Apparently, I'm really loud.
74. I don't mean to be and I find that incredibly embarassing.
75. But when I'm not loud, no one notices me. At all.
76. Even when I'm around big groups of people I feel completely alone.
77. So being loud is what I do to feel vaguely connected, I guess.
78. I was on allergy medicine from age 4 - 10 that made me a complete basketcase.
79. I only had one friend prior to 5th grade, and she was even more psychotic than me.
80. People still make fun of me for shit I did in elementary school.
81. I hate that I'm still around those people.
82. Even though I finally have friends, I still want nothing more than to get the hell out of this town and away from the stupid asshats who still think I'm the same person I was when I was 9 and overmedicated.
83. Apparently I'm a good writer. I don't really think so, but my English teachers seem to.
84. I'm a good student but I don't get along with most of the other "smart kids" at my school.
85. I'm a perfectionist. Not with other people, just with myself.
86. I like to be in control of things that I'm planning.
87. Not knowing what's going on, plans-wise, makes me have panic attacks.
88. Holiday shopping crowds also make me have panic attacks.
89. People seem to misinterpret my moods a lot.
90. Which is odd, because I'm not exactly subtle about them.
91. But when I'm depressed and want to be left alone everyone's all like "HUUUUUUG!" and when I'm depressed and want attention people avoid me like the plague.
92. When I get really freaked out, I go for a drive to clear my head.
93. I'm really interested in politics by virtue of being a union leader's daughter.
94. I liked snow a lot more when I was a little kid and didn't have to drive in it.
95. I'm almost always cold.
96. I'll go out of my way to help people I care about, and I don't make a big deal about them "repaying" me or whatever.
97. Despite this, I still think I'm a horrible person.
98. I play guitar, but I like bass better. Unfortunately I can't accompany myself with a bass.
99. Singing is the only thing I'll admit to being okay at.
100. I'm the most uncreative artist you'll ever meet.
Hmh. I guess I wasted too much space at the beginning, because I kind of ran out at the end, I could've said more. Oh well.
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 10:15 pm (UTC)