(no subject)

we brought her home last night -- the vet had called and there was nothing she could do and she was getting so bad that they couldn't get an IV in because her veins were collapsing. but we went there and she fell asleep in my mother's arms and suddenly none of us wanted to pick her up and freak her out her and put her on that table so that her last memories in life were of a metal table and people she didn't know.

it was better for her and for us, i think.... i know i'm glad that i had all night to say goodbye, that my last memory of her was asleep on her favorite blanket in my parents' room and not howling on a table, and i think it's better that she died here, with people who love her, in a place that's familiar...

really more than anything i was terrified she WOULD make it through the night -- she was plainly dying, and then we would have had to make a decision of what to do, as our vet (who would've made a house call for us) is out of town and it seemed horrible to pack her up and take her to the vet -again-.

evidently she did make it through the night, but she died early this morning, just when they were trying to figure out what to do.



there is really nothing else i can say.