(no subject)

i have an exam in 2.5 hours and i am going to fail it, even with the concessions granted me. i don't know how to study, i realise... just write papers. i'm emotionally and mentally exhausted. it was easy two weeks ago to say i'd push through because that's what she'd've wanted but i don't know if i can anymore. i know life won't just stop but everything is so hard, to keep going right now. i'm considering dropping this class so i was looking at replacement options for spring, and i realised how foreign it seems, how impossible. i don't know how to feel anything anymore and i don't have time to feel anything. which seemed like a good thing at first, but i know it's there and not feeling it honestly makes me feel worse. i don't know. i don't know. everything is falling apart.