(no subject)

[numberoneblind]

i am seriously thinking i should just drop out. costing way too much money to be this big of a fuckup and it's not like i'd be missed. i would say "transfer" -- not like i'm going to not go to college at all -- but it's too late to apply to places now so for all intents and purposes it'd be dropping out. and who'd want me anyway?

there is something fucking wrong with me. something about me does not function properly as a part of this world. i don't even know anymore. i just feel so fucking useless and hopeless and worthless and stupid and... there's just no point. what's the point of my going to school, really? it's not going to teach me how to be less of a worthless forgetful moron and it's not going to teach me how to socialise like a normal human being.

i am ready to give up.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/--brandnewday/]

You could just go to a community college- they're always accepting.

Don't fret, my dear. :)

[numberoneblind.livejournal.com]

the community college by my house is shit, and plus I don't WANT to be around the people I went to high school with. the atmosphere is such that it's nicknamed "Berrien County High School"... and that's accurate both socially and academically. for example, I'm already past all of the math classes offered there... whereas at K I didn't have enough math to take any of them.

Honey...

[windarianbird.livejournal.com]

Angel, calm down. Don't say that. You've been insanely busy latel - or haven't you noticed? A slip up is almost expected unless you're perfect, which you aren't (thank god). You're brilliant, and fun, just have problems fitting in - which isn't as abnormal as you think. I know it sucks, but...don't give up.

Re: Honey...

[numberoneblind.livejournal.com]

yeah, it is the busy-ness -- which means not sleeping, which means being tired and even MORE useless. just frustrated. and I hoped I'd make friends being more involved in this show, but instead I'm just losing sleep and time.

but thank you, hon. *hugs*

[fiordelisa.livejournal.com]

I agree with windarianbird.
Kelsey, you'll do great. Move in with some cool people next year (Tori spoke to me of an LGBTQ + allies house?) and come to me whenever you need it.
Things have been really hard for me this quarter. I'm having some family/life-in-general problems and it has made everything really stressful (as you would see because I look like a GIANT PIMPLE - at least you still have your fabulous looks).

Buck up, we love you.

[numberoneblind.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've been trying to get in on the Kaleidoscope house, though that'd be a fun one to explain to the parents. Honestly that's the only reason I'm staying on, I hope that changing living situations will help me, whether I'm in a house or in a single in a more social dorm.

Sorry you're having a stressful quarter too -- if you ever get a spare moment, let me know and we can get together for coffee and ranting, haha.

[fiordelisa.livejournal.com]

Sure thing.
Things are carrrr-ayzay though.

Of course, all the "fun" stuff slows down 7th week (i.e. the play that I'm hating because the people are dorks) but then of course all my fun fun fun schoolwork gets heavier.

Poo.

[numberoneblind.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know, things are insane for me too. And I think my real insanity kicks in right about when a good chunk of yours goes away, heh.

Maybe 9th week. x_x

[prop-wench.livejournal.com]

your overreacting again.